Thursday, June 29, 2006

nearly freaking done!

Just one exam to go and thats a resit so it should be really easy. Still, I must revise for tommorow cos I've been planning my secret surprise for you all when I really should have been revising.

Thats all for now,

enigmatically,
thwar

Monday, May 08, 2006

Exams

Well hello, its exam time for many of us student types, what I want to know is, not what your revision technique is or anything crap like that, is whats the worst thing you've done using exams as an excuse?

For example, say you had taken drugs or something and said that it helped you revise.

My worst one is kinda bad but im not telling you guys what it is until I hear some from you!

Also, an idea i've formed that i will develop over summer when these damn exams are gone!

My love and fondling....

, ,thwartastic

Friday, April 28, 2006

Morrisons

Whats the first reason to shop at morrisons? Is it arousingly low prices? Is there no first reason? If so, the reasons following it are MEANINGLESS!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Infamous Box in the Corner

Hello motherfunglers! Sorry I have been away for a while, some stuff at college demanded my attention, I will tell all later.

I had a really great and very fine idea walking home a few days ago and its completley slipped my mind, I hope that it'll come back as these things do.

Here's something funny anyway.

"Upon watching the bibliography channel on sky on the infamous box in the corner, I saw a show on the simpsons. Very good! But one thing that struck me is that they bleeped out the word 'fart'. It was in the phrase, "It's not past Bart to burp and fart in the show.' True. But without the context of Bart and the rest of the sentence we could assume that this F-word could be mistaken for the other F-word. "It's not past Bart to burp and F**k in the show", what kind of stuff is simpsons coming out with if THAT is not past Bart. So basically American cencorship sucks!"



"My family is really nice, apart from my cousin who keeps trying to kill my mum with a big knife"

Still working on some kind of caption competition, however I feel I should give the postership to Superwench as she seems to deserve it.

Maybe I'll do both.....

Monday, March 13, 2006

Orangina (sorry, Minute maid) Whore

Yeah, I know. Wierd title. At least I think it's orangina (no, it's Minute Maid). Not really a fine idea as such but its more of a rant-kinda-thing (im sure the ecpaguys will love it).

"Minute Maid advert. You know the one, sultry spanish lady washing herself and three guys oggle from behind a fence. But no, the 'twist' apparently is that, yup, they're after her orange tree. Yeah. The spanish guy, the 'leader' of the brothers, approaches her and his bro's follow, he asks "Excuse me, i was wondering if my brothers and I could," he pauses suggestivley, "buy your orange tree?". Then the woman looks dissapointed. This is when I get pissed. She looks freaking dissappointed? What did she bloody want?!
Did she want them to strip naked and dance for her?
Did she want them to lick freshly squeezed orange juice off her?
Did she want to be vigourously rodgered by all three of them at once?
Did she want them to buy her orange tree and then knock her out with it and then carry her unconsiscous body back to their house for an S&M session?

WHAT DID SHE FREAKING EXPECT! THE LITTLE SLUT!"

Rant over.

but seriously, it really gets on my tits, that stupid spanish whore! and those bloody brothers piss me off too, who choses trees over sex? not even hippies and environmentalists! GRRAGH!!


btw, ecpa-dai, if i'm going to add you to my contributors im going to need your email address. I can't seem to find it on your profile

Monday, February 27, 2006

Finally freaking back

My apologies my fellow lemons. My computer was hit by a virus, badly, I dont think it was my fault but I'm the user who uses the computer the most so it could be me. Ah well. Anyway, I've been out cold for nearly 3 weeks now, after scouring my system I managed to save some important files by doing a backtrack thingy (thankyou Windows helpdesk!). Now you may ask "why the f*** havn't you used the computers at your bloody college you fool?" well I would! But the college anti-virus programes has been updated and has deemed blogging a sin, that rules out college computers until I pluck up the courage to email the techie dudes.

PC jargon over!

Baisically I'm SOORRYY! I know, deep down, you all missed me and my ideas. Uhm. Now for a 'welcome back' one. Uh............ here.

"Spock is stupid, there can't be a final frontier, because there wouldn't be anything for it to be a frontier to."

and one rememered from the fantastic Red Dwarf

"Given that God is infinite, and the universe is also infinite, and all matter is transient.... would you like a Crumpet?"

With those two goldies of ides I think i've redeemed myself. Lol.

I'm back! Wooooooooooo

Friday, February 10, 2006

Triple barell

Sorry I havn't posted in a while, as some of you already know, i've been trying to find a way to see my cousin, I won't say his name (it wouldn't be fair, you don't know mine!) but he usually lives abroad and when he IS here I really enjoy his company, just chilling out with him makes me happy. I've missed him recently.

Idea 1

"Distance and separation can make the heart grow stronger."

Does it tho? I've never been in 'love' (kinda sceptikal about the whole thing really) although I've had a girlfriend or two but maybe some readers could clear up that saying for me.

Idea 2

(more of a question)
"Why would anyone kill themselves?"

I've come close, (in a mental way before, thinking about stuff gets you down sometimes THWARted) but ,obviously, I've never done it, I know its a sensitive topic but people shouldn't.

3rd Idea (im kinda running out now)

"Chaos theory; if a butterfly's wing can cause a hurricane, could me farting cause an earthquake?"

there you go, some stuff to think about, if you comment, I know you won't be able to say something about all of them, just feel free to leave your own ideas in fact.

(ps, ECPA dai? could I add you to one of my contributors, i'm not sure how to do it but I think you'd make a good idea-guy!)